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I had a small relapse along with severe anxiety.  But I’m OK!

My mother is coming over for a visit.  She lives in the same town as the person who abused me.  In fact she knows his family.  This was a trigger for me.  My inner demons raised their ugly head.  I knew that it wasn’t real!  I was extremely anxious.  But I kept telling myself that it was all in my head.  So it was me voicing my fears of what that person would say about me.  But he doesn’t know that I know.  Hopefully he never will.

I had gone for a longer walk than usual that day.  On top of that I had read for the whole afternoon.  It was a good book and I couldn’t put it down.  I know that reading tires me.  So I was tired.  Now I am being careful about how long I read.  It was scary but I used logic and my knowledge of my illness to guide me through it.  It wasn’t real!

I still have to talk to my counselor about it.  She hasn’t called me back.  But I figured out what the trigger was and that I was tired.  Slowly I heal…Never stop fighting!