Art By Miriam speaks of a bad experience that happened in the past. But more importantly she speaks of how she survived and is healing now. I have just read that it is important to write. To write about the bad experience but also about how you survived. This way the bad experience is changed into something good.
Over 20 years ago I had a bad experience. It marred me but I repressed it. I completely blocked it out and now don’t remember my childhood. So I mourn today my childhood lost. I blocked it all out. So much so that now when I am old, I am facing it and trying to deal with it. This bad experience has made me paranoid and fearful. I don’t trust people and then trust manipulators too quickly. Then I allow the manipulator to tell me what to do just as I as a child listened and did not tell anyone about what had happened to me! This affected me even when I was an adult. I obeyed someone I loved and did something stupid only because he told me to do it! I am an honest person and I cheated on something very important only because the person I loved told me to do it. Then I blocked it out and continued on as if nothing had happened. This control was due to my bad experience as a child. I allowed a manipulator to control me.
How did I survive this bad experience. It was by the love of my parents. My parents and brothers were all good people and loved me. I don’t remember my brothers much but I do remember my parents’ love for me. This gave me strength. I am also very stubborn. So I was very stubborn in being quiet and good. I did as I was told and did not do anything bad but I blocked even that out.
So I wrote about my bad experience in a book. They say that I should share what I wrote with someone I trust and that I don’t have to worry about writing style or spelling. While writing I wrote that it was all too much and that I should stop. This stopping helped me to be calm and remember more. So I stopped for a moment and wrote more as another memory came to me. I will read what I have written to my counselor. They also said to be proud of how I survived the bad experience. So I am proud that I am stubborn, quiet and good. I follow the rules and am an honest person!
If you have had a bad experience, don’t block it out and lock it away. Talk about it to someone and if you can’t talk about it to someone start writing about it. Then read what you have written to a trusted friend or out loud to yourself. Do this as a ritual with soothing music or a candle. Treat yourself. Surround yourself with a good memory of love as you face the memories of that bad experience. Write, write and write. Free your soul and let your spirit lift and be free. Write!
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