Miriam speaks of a change in attitude with a change in what helps distract her from her anxiety. Slowly she heals.
I am reading more which I think is making me more analytical of my anxiety. My art helped me to process subconsciously and to block awareness of my anxiety. This was very therapeutic for a long time. But now as I am reading more…for leisure…I find that I am thinking more. I have faced many of my fears. I am more analytical of what and why I fear. At the same time there is an opening of my mind. Suddenly I need more than just my home and my children. It is time for a friend. However I still have to deal with my anxiety. It is less but it is still there. An example is that today I was overwrought about simple things and when I would do them. Simple everyday things that usually I can schedule and juggle but today there was a lot of anxiety over the juggling. The reason might be because I changed where I am walking everyday. It is new and therefore there is anxiety. I went there and there were a lot more people around than I am used to. I persevered and pushed myself to take my walk but the anxiety was great. In addition I am tired because of the anxiety of talking to a friend. It is all very tiring. Then on top of that there was the anxiety of when to do the simple errands that I had to run. All mixed up with a new place to walk.
But I have done enough changes for a while. Now I have to rest and let it settle. Let it become routine before I try to change anything else. Baby steps…and slowly I heal.