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Miriam speaks of a change in attitude with a change in what helps distract her from her anxiety.  Slowly she heals.

I am reading more which I think is making me more analytical of my anxiety.  My art helped me to process subconsciously and to block awareness of my anxiety.  This was very therapeutic for a long time.  But now as I am reading more…for leisure…I find that I am thinking more.  I have faced many of my fears.  I am more analytical of what and why I fear.  At the same time there is an opening of my mind.  Suddenly I need more than just my home and my children.  It is time for a friend.  However I still have to deal with my anxiety.  It is less but it is still there.  An example is that today I was overwrought about simple things and when I would do them.  Simple everyday things that usually I can schedule and juggle but today there was a lot of anxiety over the juggling.  The reason might be because I changed where I am walking everyday.  It is new and therefore there is anxiety.  I went there and there were a lot more people around than I am used to.  I persevered and pushed myself to take my walk but the anxiety was great.  In addition I am tired because of the anxiety of talking to a friend.  It is all very tiring.  Then on top of that there was the anxiety of when to do the simple errands that I had to run.  All mixed up with a new place to walk.

But I have done enough changes for a while.  Now I have to rest and let it settle.  Let it become routine before I try to change anything else.  Baby steps…and slowly I heal.