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Miriam speaks of her healing journey.  It is winter now.  New everyday worries increasing her anxiety.  With courage, slowly she heals.

I had thought not to post today.  I feel that I haven’t had anything worth saying but then thought of all of my followers.  I am facing anxiety in a more conscious way now.  I read a book that touched me in a negative way.  My whole routine is in jeopardy.  My coping mechanisms are working but it takes all my courage to go out and walk.  My anxiety is so great.  On top of that winter has come.  It brings with it new worries.  Worries about snow tires, scraping the windshield (which I hate with a passion!) and warming the car.  Before it was driving that caused me some anxiety now it is winter!  Will the car start?  Do I have enough time to let it warm up?  Will the roads be slippery?  Is a snow storm coming?  Will I be caught in a storm?  It goes on and on.  So I do some mindfulness while I wait for my daughter as I am warming up the car.  Now for sure I have to be ready before her so that I have time to warm up the car.  I did this anyway but now I have to do it!  Thank you!  Just writing this down has made me laugh.  Thank you for being there.  It helps writing about it.

I am more conscious of my anxiety.  And what it does to me.  But with courage I face my fear and continue on.  I went for my walk today and afterwards bought myself a mocha latte.  That is my reward when I face my fear.  In addition I bought a cookie with my meager change.  The lady gave me two!  I sat in the mall and ate them as I drank my mocha latte.  I relaxed and looked around me.  Appreciating where I was.  Appreciating.  There was a spot set up for a Remembrance Day celebration.  I appreciated what soldiers, pilots and sailors have done for me.  I appreciated their commitment and service.  There is much to be thankful for.  Thank you for your service.  I took a moment.  Looked out beyond my fear and saw that the world was good.  It helped getting out today.  So I say thank you to myself.  Instead of blocking my fear and succumbing to it I went out and saw that the world was good.  Now I have to notice when I am blocking things out and start working on that.  Slowly I heal.

Photo by Samuel Scrimshaw on Unsplash