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Miriam speaks of her healing journey.  I don’t have to remember to heal!  Slowly I heal.

I am trying to get back on track and post on my usual days.  Thursday is one of those days.  I wasn’t able to function well during the week because I was putting off reading about remembering my abuse.  I didn’t want to remember.  The free writing I had done left me raw with emotion.  It was all too much.  Therefore I just read my romance novel and blocked everything else out.  I didn’t even start a new art project but just read.  Then when I wrote my last blog I realized that I was putting off reading and then I read.  It was a relief because they said that people don’t have to remember to heal.  They can heal without remembering.  My counselor told me that I had experienced the abuse once there was no reason to have to remember it all.  I have remembered some things and that’s enough.

I’m sorry I’ve been recuperating today.  Yesterday was a heavy day with me facing the fear of remembering.  It always tires me.  Even just reading a novel is tiring too.  So I haven’t read further in my book.  The next section is about believing that it happened.  Free writing has helped me realize that something happened.  Something traumatic.  I’ll do more free writing when I can but not yet.

So I don’t have much more to say except that I don’t have to remember.  That is such a big relief!

Until next time…