Miriam speaks about her continued healing journey and negative self talk. Her negative self talk is so ingrained that it is hard to recognize it. So much so that she stopped thinking about it. It is there however and needs to be dealt with!
I had a previous post on negative self talk. It can be found here. I was discouraged because my negative self talk is so ingrained in me that I short circuit to negative ideas without recognizing the negative self talk. The way to counteract it is to have positive counter statements as I have said before. However, if you are unaware of the negative self talk this is hard to do. With practice however it is possible. It is like exercising. You have to slowly go through it and lift the weights (use the Worry Worksheet…see Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Bourne and my previous post) and slowly get your mind used to using the counterstatements. It helps if you write it down. Another form called Daily Record of Dysfunctional Thoughts is recommended. The headings in the form are:
Situation: 1. Actual event or 2. Stream of thoughts leading to an unpleasant emotion.
Emotional: 1. Be specific ie sad, happy and 2. Rate the degree of emotion 0 – 100.
Automatic Thoughts: 1. Automatic thoughts that came before the emotion and 2. Rate the belief in the automatic thoughts 0 – 100.
Rational Response: 1. Rational thought to automatic thought and 2. rate belief in the rational thought 0 – 100.
Outcome: 1. Rerate belief in automatic though 0 – 100 and 2. List and rate your subsequent emotions 0 – 100.
A jpeg file of the form is found below:
But it takes practice. Just like exercise. You have to do it over and over again. The more often you do it the better you get at doing it!
The book goes on to say that there are three things that you should do if you feel yourself getting anxious or getting negative self talk. They are:
- Notice that you are now doing negative self talk. This happens when you are feeling depressed, anxious, self critical or upset.
- Stop. Ask yourself a) what am I telling myself to feel this way, b) do I really want to do this to me and c) do I really want to continue on being mad.
- Relax and do something else. Meditate, clean the house, exercise, read etc.
I have taken a step to the side in my healing journey. I have to first name the abuser before I can continue healing the proper way. The professional I wanted to talk to is away on holiday so I can’t do that this week. So I opted for the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. I read either one of the two main books that I’ve told you about. The other is The Courage to Heal (with a workbook too). When one is too much, I read the other one! As long as I keep going forward. I have promised a loved one that I will work on this and heal and survive. So it’s important to me.
Hopefully this post has helped some along their own path of healing. That is why I post on this delicate subject. Enjoy! I will be posting Tuesdays now instead of Mondays. It just works better for me. Sometimes I will post Thursday evenings. I will always try to post on Saturday. Until next time!